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Memorable Quotes from Van Wilder

Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder?
Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"!
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks.
Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.
Quotes from Van Wilder

Van Wilder: What's that intoxicating aroma you have on Doris?
Ms. Doris Haver: I have a lot of cats
Van Wilder: Meow!

Gwen: What was that girl, a freshman?
Van Wilder: She reads at a sophomore level.

[Ms. Haver takes a long swig on some liquor]
Ms. Doris Haver: Oh yeah... that's the shit!
Van Wilder: You know... I think I'm getting a little coldsore come on... so maybe we shouldn't do this for 3 to 6 weeks?
Ms. Doris Haver: Shut up, bitch and give me some sugar!
Quotes from Van Wilder

Van Wilder: Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

Van Wilder: But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.
Suicidal Freshman: I don't have a pen.
Van Wilder: Well remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you.
Quotations from Van Wilder

Gwen: [Mouths] What are you doing here?
Van Wilder: [Mouths] I don't know!

Van Wilder: Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not suppossed to be.
Quotes from Van Wilder

[repeated line, after giving advice]
Van Wilder: Write that down.

Van Wilder: All you need is scented candles, massage oil, and Barry White. Write that down.

Van Wilder: Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Van Wilder: The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies.
Movie Quotes from Van Wilder

Van Wilder: Don't be a fool, stay in school!

Van Wilder: What is wrong with people today?
Hutch: [taking a hit from a bong] It's the internet, it fries their brain cells.
Quotes from Van Wilder

Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.
Quotes from Van Wilder

Memorable Quotes from Van Wilder auuuu.com