Nick Mercer: This happened *to* you?
Kat Ellis: Happened in the sense that I picked up the phone, tracked you down, flew you here, and gave you $6,000 out of my 401K.
TJ: Darling, why spend anymore time on that horse's ass when Mr. Tie-Me-Up-Tie-Me-Down is standing right over there?
Nick Mercer: Is that an old habit from ballet class or from a lifetime of walking on eggshells?
Kat Ellis: I never took ballet.
[closes bathroom door]
TJ: [to Kat and Amy] The only thing that you two have in common is that you're both secretly attracted to me.
Kat Ellis: Hey
Amy: I just
Amy: I wanted to thank you for not outing me in front of Ed. I want to tell him just not the night before are wedding you know with these things timing is everything.
Kat Ellis: You're right
Kat Ellis: You should really time it right so that when he hears that you repeatedly screwed his best friend he won't feel like the whole world is collapsing around him and there's no escape because you tricked him into marrying you.
Kat Ellis: Oh don't worry your wedding will be perfect tomorrow. I'll smile and say all the right things and you'll deal with Ed when you're ready but right now, tonight I'm not going to pretend it's OK.
Kat Ellis: I love my dad. But technically, since he's my stepfather he's not family... he's more like a hostage.
Nick Mercer: Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close... your... eyes. You're safe. You can relax. I'm not going to kiss you. He's gonna be so sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain. And remember what an incredible woman you are. You do that and he'll realize what he lost.
Kat Ellis: Holy crap. You're worth every penny.
[Kat's response, when asked by her mother what was wrong]
Kat Ellis: Nothing that a bottle of Jack and a straight razor won't fix.
TJ: [after seeing Nick wink] I think I've just come.
TJ: [sees Kat with Jeffery] Oh my God! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Top Kat! Ooooh! Where the bloody hell have you been? I have gynaecologists that call more often.
Kat Ellis: You have more than one gynaecologist?
TJ: You have to play them off. Otherwise they think your easy
TJ: [turns to Jeffery] Hello asshole. Listen, since you dumped my cousin brutally, and without cause, you wont mind if I just steal her away will you? Thanks
Jeffrey: Kat could I have a word? It'll only take a moment.
Bunny: Well, let me think. You stole seven years of her life with your bullshit and your charm and now you'd like just a moment?
Bunny: Sure, go right ahead.
Nick Mercer: I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.
Nick Mercer: The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back.
Kat Ellis: You know what pisses me off? I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know a thing about you.
Nick Mercer: [pause] I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.
Nick Mercer: Here's to the husbands who've won you, the losers who've lost you, and the lucky bastards who've yet to meet you.
TJ: Can you believe Kat gets to shag this guy? No, really, you should send God a bottle of wine or a quiche or something.
TJ: Who's going to buy my Hoo-Ha a drink?
Kat Ellis: [Nick tells her that she is $300 short] Wait a minute! You're telling me that *if* something happened last night I would have to pay you $1700! That's a down payment on a Ford Focus!
Amy: [at her bachlorette party to Woody] Did she tell you she broke up with you because of your funky breath?
Kat Ellis: [to Woody] She's drunk.
Kat Ellis: Any second now my date is going to sit down in 3B and I need him to look really, really good today.
Male Flight Attendant: Hello, 3B.
[Kat turns around to see Nick]
Victor Ellis: Are you a boatsman, son?
Nick Mercer: I am now, sir.
Victor Ellis: Well, I'm glad to see that someone is making good use of her again. The boat I mean.