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Ron Burgundy: The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...
[kisses his biceps]
Ron Burgundy: and see if she likes the goods.

Ron Burgundy: [thinks Baxter the dog has just called him] Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee.

Brian Fantana: That was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanesse family's living room, and they would NOT stop screaming!
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.

[first title card]
Title card: The following is based on actual events. Only the names, locations and events have been changed.

Ron Burgundy: [singing] Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight / My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right" / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] When everything's a little clearer in the light of day / And we know the night is always gonna be there anyway.
Brian Fantana, Brick Tamland: [singing] Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite / Looking forward to a little afternoon delight / Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite / And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon delight.
Ron Burgundy: You guys have it, I think.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Afternoon delight.
Champ Kind: I don't know Ron, That sounds kinda crazy.
Brian Fantana: Sounds like you have mental problems, man.
Brick Tamland: Yeah you got mental problems, man.
Brian Fantana: Yeah, he really does.
Brick Tamland: Man.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Afternoon delight.

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