Woman: [holding a grocery bag] What are you doing?
Frank: You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by midnight.
[reaches into the grocery bag and takes out cheese balls]
Spanish: Damn, I gonna end up workin' at Red Lobster.
Frat Brother: You already work at Red Lobster.
Spanish: Yea, but its part time... dick.
Beanie: Well, let me be the first to say congratulations to you man; you have one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart man.
Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
[after learning he's going to be expelled]
Weensie: Listen, this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school. I don't know what I'm gonna do, man. My mom's gonna kill me.
Mitch: C'mon, she's not gonna kill you.
Weensie: Yes she is. See, I'm the first one to go to college in my family and when I left she said, "Weensie, if you screw this up, I'll kill you." She showed me the knife.
Peppers: She's a beauty, ain't she?
Frank: Yeah, what kind of gun is this?
Peppers: It's a tranquilizer gun. If any of these little fuckers decide to freak out on the kids, I get to take them down. Ain't that right?
Peppers: [yank's on the mule's reigns]
Peppers: Oh, what? That's what I thought. Shut up.
[Frank cocks the gun]
Peppers: Hey, hey. Careful with that. That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.
Peppers: Yeah, it is cool. They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from...
Frank: [Frank shoots himself in the neck with the dart]
Peppers: YES! That's awesome!
Peppers: You just took one in the jugular, man.
Frank: What? I did.
[feeling his neck]
Frank: Oh my god. Is this bad? Is this bad?
Peppers: You better pull that shit out man. That shit is not cool.
Frank: Wait. What? Pull what out?
Peppers: You got a fucking dart in your neck man.
Frank: [laughing] You're... you're crazy man. I like you, but you're crazy.